Local resident Calvin deKlein declared bankruptcy today after refusing to sign a check that would have paid off the debt for him. deKlein was reportedly heard muttering, “If I sign the check, it means I did all the work.”
Judge Peyda Piper says she has never come across a case like this before. “I repeatedly asked deKleinwhy he refused to sign the check, and he was unable to provide a coherent answer.”
Wealthy philanthropist Jesse Pagotodo was left shaking his head. “I wrote the check out to deKlein, put it in his hand, and even drove him to the bank. But he refused to sign it when we arrived”. Pagotodo went on to say. “I don’t know what else he expected me to do, I couldn’t sign the check for him, that would have been forgery.”
I’m not a big fan of John Calvin, but do have to admit he had some pretty awesome fashion sense. But there are also other worthy contenders in the category of style. Vote below for who you think has the best fur coat.
Note: this poll is for fashion presence only, not theology! So even if you think the other contenders have better theology than Calvin, try to not let that influence your vote.
I appeal to every impartial mind...whether the mercy of God would not be far less gloriously displayed, in saving a few by his irresistible power, and leaving all the rest without help, without hope, to perish everlastingly, than in offering salvation to every creature, actually saving all that consent thereto, and doing for the rest all that infinite wisdom, almighty power, and boundless love can do, without forcing them to be saved, which would be to destroy the very nature that he had given them. -Predestination Calmly Considered
The Blue Parakeet by Scot McKnight
Freed to believe by God's grace Atonement for all Conditional election Total depravity Security in Christ