This post is intended to be fun, and of course does not represent what Calvinists or Arminians really believe.
Top 10 Movie Proofs that Calvinism is False
10. Doc’s DeLorean in “Back to the Future” makes it impossible to decree a fixed future.
9. Calvinism says all are depraved, yet Spiderman is good. Ergo, Calvinism is false.
8. Dorothy proves the center of the universe is Kansas, not Geneva. Perhaps not coincidentally, Nazarene Theological Seminary is in Kansas City.*
7. Mama says “life is like a box of chocolates”. It’s a mystery as to how and why this is relevant, but it definitely proves that Arminianism is true. If you disagree, remember, don’t talk back to God.
6. Frodo (and Gollum) destroyed the precious, evil is already gone. Tricksy Hobitses.
5. The Oompa Loompas never mention Calvin in their songs.
4. As long as he keeps his helmet on, Magneto is immune to mind control, making “irresistable grace” impossible.
3. Do you feel lucky? Do you punk? If you feel lucky, you have proven that election is based on a condition. The same is true if you don’t feel lucky.
2. Han Solo proves there are six “Solos”, not five.
1. The hero in “The Princes Bride” is Wesley, not Calvin. Any other conclusion would be inconceivable.
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*NTS is actually in Kansas City, Missouri. Close though. :)
Hah! Nicely done and thanks for the laugh.
I’m having a hard time conditionally choosing (wink, wink) between #6 and #4 as my favorite. Nice.
Okay, so, you may rightly ignore the following conversation between me and myself. Usually, me, myself and I carry on the dialogue, but “I” wasn’t up to it.
“I unconditionally elect #8 as my favorite choice.”
Why?
“Because I’m sovereign.”
But that’s not an answer.
“Who are you, O Myself, to answer back to Me?”
I’m merely pointing out the seemingly arbitrary manner in which you chose #8 as your favorite.
“None of the 10 were worthy of my choosing.”
But that’s irrelevant.
“I unconditionally chose #8 by grace.”
Yes, but why?
“For my glory.”
Again, that’s not an answer.
“Who are you, O Myself, to answer back to Me?”
Oy.
Love it. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain! :)
Of course #8 has a secret Calvinistic will side to it, which is probably why you like it. God obviously decreed the location of NTS to be near Kansas.
My favorite is #5, Oompa loompas are cool. I have been singing their songs in my head since doing this post.
“Tricksy Hobbitses” made me lol, but for real lol, and not just, “hey, I think I’ll type ‘lol’ here even though I didn’t really lol.”
I elect no. 1 as my favourite.
I do not use false. I say they have a different piety and understanding. Although when they get odd with their criticism against us; i guess we both fail to realize our spiritual unity in the Protestant faith.
You’re right. I exaggerated a bit since it was a humor post.
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But I would add that in No Country For Old Men, determinism and fate determines the choice. :)
I haven’t seen “No Country”, now I’m going to have to rent it. :) Merry Christmas Roy.
Merry Christmas to you too!
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